Bill
Gates
Bill Gates dies (insert the way you think
best fits here). He
finds himself in purgatory, being sized
up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this
call. I'm not sure
whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After
all, you enormously
helped society by putting a computer in
almost every home in America,
yet you also created that awful Windows
'95. I'm going to do
something I've never done before in your
case: I'm going to let you
decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "What's the difference between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit
both places
briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful,
clean, sandy beach with
clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women
running around, playing
in the water, laughing and frolicking about.
The sun was shining,
the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this
is hell, I REALLY want
to see heaven!"
"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with
angels drifting
about, playing harps and singing. It was
nice, but not as enticing
as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered
his decision. "Hmmm.
I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check
on the late
billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell.
When he got there,
he found Bill, shackled to a wall in a dark
cave, screaming amongst
hot flames, being burned and tortured by
demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with
anguish and
disappointment, "This is awful! This is
nothing like the Hell I visited
two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening!
What happened
to that other place, with the beautiful
beaches, the scantily-clad
women playing in the water????
"That was the demo," replied St. Peter.